How true?

The thing is, perfect love is also most of the time, inconvenient.


You got me there.

Things change, people change, I've probably changed.

It's been almost a month since the shit storm went down and one more month 'till I pass out! And I've been thinking a lot. Probably too much. My mind wanders off way too often in camp.

I'm gonna turn 20 soon. My youth will officially be over soon. So, do I really want to join the rat race? You know, I'm not bragging or anything. But upon deep retrospection, I realized I've actually done a lot in the past three years in Poly. Like, I've actually made things happen for myself. Like how, you say?

Love life's not brilliant but I've gotten laid a few times so bless whoever gave me that luck. Managed to juggle a couple of attachments simultaneously while studying and even broke into another field in which I had no business being in.

That's not bad, right? Sure, I'm no top student, and I'm not academic genius you'll look to for solutions on stopping global warming. But looking back, I take pride in that whatever I've done was with all my heat and soul and passion. I did them because I wanted to. I can rest well knowing that while other people were stuck doing shit they hated, I was having a ball of a time.

Where does this all fit in and where am I getting to exactly? Well, getting out of that youthful rebel excuse phase probably means I have to grow up like everyone else and get a proper job once this military crap finishes, right? I guess so. I've certainly thought about. The rat race, it scares me. Questions like if I'll be able to earn enough to give back to my ma and pops, if I'll earn enough to move out and support myself, they just keep popping up. Can I possibly make a living shooting shit I like? With humour half the peninsula doesn't understand? Or will my website venture be able to sustain itself?

It all looks bleak. But I'll still probably do it anyway. I'm stupid like that. Stupid enough to drag myself into a mountain of debts. Stupid enough to lower my value to a girl who didn't appreciate anything. Stupid enough to not join this rat race.

Old habits die hard.

Best Moment of 09

Creativity Surges

This whole weekend, all I've been thinking about is this.

I wanna be somebody.

Hurt

... goes away. I'll keep telling myself it's nothing. And maybe one day it'll go away. I hope so.

Or, I'll go berserk and kill someone. Which wouldn't be such a bad thing actually...

Yipeekiyay motherfucker.

Yeah. You probably know what happened. Not the first time, then again I kinda provoked that reaction. I just like to tempt fate, you know? A subtle jab's not enough for me. You gotta knock it right into my face, right into my numbskull before I actually believe it.

It's amazing how things change in a week. Just a week ago, we were fawning over watching 500 Days Of Summer which opens next week. And next week, it's a bunch of fuck yous being exchanged over long diatribes of text messages. Well, that was mainly on my part still, you just didn't seem to give a damn about me anymore. Maybe I was lead on, maybe I thought too much, maybe. Maybe, it was just a bunch of maybes.

Anyways, I'm good. This isn't the first time anyways, *cough* 08 Valentine's *cough* so I'm handling it good. Nothing like tough physical training in camp to forget and get over you. Even when Funny People was about a dude coming in between a couple, which obviously was kinda sensitive, was I kinda affected. It's kind of funny in a way, I don't know. But I'm experiencing a creative surge right now. It always happens after something like this. Maybe I should be thankful for having a colourful life like this instead.

But it's sad how I don't hate you. I'm pissed at you, but fuck. I don't hate you. Fuck you.

163rd Squadron, Lim Chu Kang Camp II, I-HAWK

Yes. I have been posted.

The Improved Homing All the Way Killer missile system will be the thing I'll be learning and operating.

Yep. Big.

Yes, it's one of those sleepless nights...

... hence the barrage of posts.

In a few hours time, I will have found out my squadron/camp posting and what weapon I will be operating. Stay tuned.

This is why I wanna be like Travolta

Hello Goodbye

In approximately seven hours time, I will be reporting to Air Force School and bidding one part of my so far short military life goodbye and beginning a new chapter. I'm about to say hello to more push ups, more chin ups and various anti air weapons that I'll have to lug and deploy for the next 1 year 9 months.

What do I think of all this?

I honestly don't know. I'm indifferent. There's really nothing I can do about it anyway.

20 chin ups... possible? I'm only at 4 now, and it's such a pain in the ass. Say hello to 24 inch pythons in the near future I guess.